I am still here, though I am not sure why.
...A trucker's horrified, pale face silhouetted in his headlights as he approaches a young man's shattered body. Among the gray sky, the black night, and the white flakes that settle gently on his worn jacket, the bright blood on his face gives the only trace of color.
The chief differences between my situation and that of the protagonist in the movie I saw last night (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405094/, an excellent production; also look at http://www.boston.com/news/world/europe/articles/2006/05/29/german_film_prompts_open_debate_on_stasi): (although I foolishly admit this gave me the idea)-- her motivation was clear, though hysterical, and mine is not. Hers is possibly even justifiable, but I don't see how mine could be. Not now that I have found a path. Such a path must be followed, not strayed from.